The House That Zelmo Built

"What a drag it is, getting old...." ~ 'Mother's Little Helper' - The Rolling Stones


Yes, folks. Zelmo has hit a milestone in his life. He is now halfway to the beginning of Middle Age. The years of living the reckless life of a twentysomething have come to an end. What does this hold for the future of Zelmo? What differences will Zelmo make in his life to adjust to the fact that he isn't getting any younger?

Probably nothing.

Possibly the only regret that I have ever had about my twentysomething life was that I didn't do enough in it. Taking a look back, I realize that I might have made a few mistakes along the way, but the good things far outweigh the not-so-good things. I think the one thing that truly surprises me a little is that of all the silly and stupid stunts that I've ever done in my life, and after all the adventures and misadventures that I have gotten myself into and out of, that I somehow managed to survive to the ripe old age of 30.

Time to crack open a beer and celebrate! Oh wait a minute, Zelmo has no beer. Today is Monday and the beginning of a long work week. Okay, time to go and have some sex with the girlfriend in the next room! Oh wait a minute, she's sleeping and hacking up her lungs at the same time due to a cold that she caught from one of her Chippendale's boyfriends (yes babe, I know you're suffering from Caleb's Cooties now).

So what the fuck am I supposed to do on a Sunday night/Monday morning, at the wee and earliest hour of my 30th birthday? Perhaps Zelmo should sit and ponder what the next chapter of his life should be about? Maybe begin his plan to conquer the modern day society with his words of uber-wisdom and neo-nihilistic views? Perhaps he should contemplate what the universe is really made of and share it with the anonymous nobodies that might or might not be reading this blogpage right now?

Or maybe Zelmo should just go in the bathroom and jerk off to usher in his 30th year. Hey, I haven't done that in a while. I dunno, I'll think about it and let you know what I've decided to do at a later time.

Until then..........


Happy birthday to me....I'm happy to see.....the world is my oyster....and I've just hit thirty.....